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Nathan Marsak

5 Comments

  1. nathan
    October 11, 2008 @ 12:55 am

    downonadams

     

    Reply

  2. nathan
    January 25, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

    1313

    Damn, that’s a good-looking house.

    Imagine if one Hill structure had been allowed to survive. Even if it had had some sort of remuddling.

    Amazing construction image, and the breathtaking motherlode.

    MunsterHouse

    Reply

  3. nathan
    March 2, 2009 @ 1:10 pm

    There is no lower order of architectural history than the “hey, look how much this thing looks like that thing” school. So, with total absence of paper trail or smoking gun, and utterly devoid of legitimate social context, hey, look how much this thing looks like that thing!

    I was taking my weekly dose of Big Orange, and dang if Everett Hall’s 1887 place down on Douglas didn’t remind me of something. I thought it bore a seeming semblance to 1964 Colonial Street, aka 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Whether its designers in 1950 were cruising around for inspiration and found themselves in front of the House of Hall we’ll never know. (Is every post some meticulously researched essay on which quarry produced the dressed ashlar for the Floodat Hotel? It is not.)

    Los Angeles, 1950. Joe and Bob cruise the city, Hall Residence in the near distance.

    Joe: Hey Bob, lookit that one—

    Bob: That’s good, pull over a sec.

    Bob sketches on a cocktail napkin.

    HouseOfHall

    Later that day, in the office. Bob holds up a blueprint.

    Bob: How’s this?

    Joe: Swell. Who lives in these things, anyway?

    GAOTU

    Hall70s

    ookyookyooky

    As long as I’m irresponsibly positing wildly improbable scenarios, we’ll let this one play out to its logical conclusion:

    Bob: Hey Joe, you want I should Empire-up this tower or oriel window it?

    A woman steps from the shadows.

    Ella Raines: Kefauver told me you mugs’d come here. But you’re not leaving. You’re taking the big dirt nap but plenty. Think you’re so smart, with your asymmetrical facades. Now hand over those blueprints.

    Bob: Put down the gun, Ella. These plans are part of a brave new age. The Larkin’s going down and there’s nothing you and your whole banking cabal can do about it—tell Fuchs and Hubbard I said so.

    Joe: And that goes double, sister. Mac is gonna make Korea glow like a Telechron and if Temple thinks she can retire, tell her we’ve got another agent in the field…and it’s been you all along!

    The poison starts working on Ella. She teeters, drops the gun.

    Bob: Sorry, kid. These’re Bill Goetz’ plans now, and with these babies that baboon of his Hoover will be about as necessary as fretwork spandrels on an Eames outhouse.

    Ella: Mad! You’re all…mad.

    Joe: Getting dark, ain’t it. And don’t worry about Fighting Coast Guard. We had Wild Bill make us up a new one of you.

    Ella sinks to the floor. Bob picks up the phone, dials two numbers.

    Bob: Sesnon? We’ve completed our end. Hidden in the blueprints for those who have the knowledge. Orwell, Grinius, Jolson, Ransom Olds, all dead, dead as the electric car, the Dulles Boys saw to that. You’re the new Weishaupt. You’ve got enough fuel now for a thousand slave worlds. Novo ordo Bunker Hill.

    Bob hangs up the phone. They speak to each other.

    Joe and Bob: What have we done?

    Fade to black.

    locus


    Images, BOL and the universalstonecutter’s Munster set.

     

    Reply

  4. My house not my house.
    March 2, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

    How dare you ignore the most important part of this evidence – that Arthur Hiller was the director of the Addams’ Family episode in question also directed Love Story, Taking Care of Business, Author Author!, and Carpool, which introduced the world to a young Rachel Leigh Cook, who later went on to star in Josie and the Pussycats, with Tara Reid, who was in Alone in the Dark, which had, uh, monsters in it.
    Okay, that’s the best I could do on short notice.
    Does that mean that the Munsters 2009 (ABC spring replacement) will live in a glass and chrome mini-mall, about to get torn down for…a different kind of glass and chrome mini-mall? Or will they just live in the Brady House? Or maybe the Munster house at Universal, soon to be torn down for an identical Munster house with a ‘grand room’, and an ‘open plan’
    Yes!

    Reply

    • nathan
      March 5, 2009 @ 9:11 pm


      I was hoping Tara Reid would actually be in the new Munsters, she some sort of creature half-Marilyn in her blonditude and half-Herman in having been cobbled together in strange and terrible laboratories.

      The honor, by the way, of the new Munsters goes to the Wayans’. Would I kid about such a thing?

      “If we do anything, maybe we’ll do a cameo, but we’re not gonna make The Munsters black all of a sudden,” Wayans laughed. “They’re gonna be green, white people just like they were in the TV show. Their characters are still who they were in the ‘50s. It’s just in modern day.”


      First of all, glad to know the Munsters were from the 50s. Is Wayans referring to the gothic horror of Elizabeth Gaskell? Secondly, I never really felt the warmth of all this “post-racial America" business until I was hit with the green, white people concept.

      I think because the Musters are so “weird” they’ll move into a “loft” and their wacky uncle (a walk on by Marilyn Manson! Relevant!) will visit and stuff. In a Very Special Episode, they’ll tackle Zero Sum Gain economic theory (with a walk on by Sean Penn! Relevant!).

      If they do keep the Munster manse, it will need not just a grand room, but a great room. And more closets! Lots of closets! And a marble kitchen, and lots of diamond-encrusted Lucite furniture. And marble walls! Which can then be sprayed with an ocean of faux-marble paint. Solid gold fixtures! Flatscreens in every bathroom! And everything has to be child-proofed! Think of the children!!! Geez, you’d think I’d been doing this for years. This is going to be the greatest entablature-and-frieze-coated Tuscan palace on the block. I mean, if the bungalow next door could be transformed into a mansarded Regency in the 50s (the 1950s), why not?

      But I digress. What were you saying about Rachel Leigh Cook?

      Reply

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